In today’s Fiver: Yaya’s story, Forest Green, and Xabi Alonso’s ocean waste
Stop it there. Enough already. You can consign today’s Fiver to the dustbin of internet history (unless of course you’re one of those people lucky enough to have an email service that does it automatically) and head straight to the drinker, because nothing in today’s edition of the world’s only tea-timely email is going to top that headline. Wordplay so cunning you could, in the words of Blackadder, pin a tail on it and call it a weasel, not only does it dredge up memories of a Star Wars character most right-thinking nerds would rather forget, it more or less tells the whole story of how, with monotonous predictability, Yaya Touré was first to crack in his unwinnable stand-off with Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola. If at least three different tabloids don’t nick it for Saturday’s back pages, then The Fiver will finally be prepared to concede that we’re not quite the hep-cat daddio barometer of modern football culture we’ve long presumed ourselves to be.
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