Today’s fluff is scrounging a lift
Home, says the Mill from beneath a pile of crisp packets, nail clippings and loose change in its hovel, is definitely where the heart is. Therefore no one should be remotely surprised that Wayne Rooney has decided 13 years at Manchester United was basically an extended gap year and, before he morphs into the character Tim Key plays in the sort-of funny E4 comedy of that name, he’s shedding the henna tattoos and coming back to Everton for home cooking and lifts everywhere. Apparently there is a will on all sides to make it happen, and United might even waive a transfer fee; someone should probably check that Ronald Koeman realises Rooney isn’t 18 anymore.
But perhaps Rooney is simply part of a trend towards a simpler life, a rejection of the jobbing footballer’s fernweh. Jermain Defoe returning to West Ham is not a rumour for the creatively-minded but would be on the cards if Sunderland went down and, like Rooney, he might be allowed to head back where it all started without so much as a penny switching between the clubs’ bank accounts.
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