It is inescapable, the background accompaniment to every Premier League highlight. The words to the chant go “woooooaaahhh [name of club cult favourite], wooaaahhh [skill unique to player] woooooaaahhh he never gives the ball awayyyyyy 1-2-3-4” and then repeats itself. Yes, you do know it. Yes, it has already become a little bit grating.
Set to the Earth, Wind & Fire song of the same name, the September chant has yet to acquire the full brain‑numbing ubiquity the Beach Boys’ Sloop John B acquired in recent years, but it is definitely on its way. Watford sing it about Abdoulaye Doucouré, Chelsea about Tiémoué Bakayoko, Aston Vllla about both John Terry and James Chester. At this point, the only hope of your club escaping the craze is by ensuring you have a team full of players unable to keep possession. Everton aside, that means everyone’s at risk.
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